Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Rites of Initiation*

I

Give yourself seven papercuts.

II

Acquire seven rejection letters in which the word "however" is used.

III

Drop a dictionary or other weighty reference work on your foot. Utter seven profanities.

IV

Bow to the seven points of the compass and vow to abjure henceforth all nitwitery, knuckleheadery, and jackassery. Yes, those are words. Shut up.

*Many Anonymati will find they have completed some of these rites already.

8 comments:

Anita said...

May I please substitute the word "but" for the word "however" in Rite II?

Editorial Anonymous said...

No; "but" is more common.

You'll need to acquire a fair-sized pile of rejection letters to find seven with "however" in them.

Collecting a big pile of rejection letters is a natural step in getting published for most people.

Aerin said...

Does failing the rejection letter Rite mean I can't be inducted?

Anonymous said...

"Jackassery."

Ha! EA, I think I'm in love with you in a non-sexual sort of way.

Editorial Anonymous said...

Fulfilling the rites is something to aim for. ;)
You're still in the club.

Michelle said...

I don't have 7 papercuts yet, but today I got some blood mark on my finger from trying to dislodge a stuck three-hold punch...does that count?

Sheila said...

I love it, the anonymati have a hidden lair!

Thanks, EA.

AC said...

Oh man, I love secret societies. I'm working on getting those query rejections right now.