When Sadie announced that she was going to be a princess, her brother Josh laughed so hard he snorted.Does it seem like your story just started when she got to the book? What was the plot reasoning behind the first little scene with her brother?
"You can't be a princess," he said. "You're too little, Baby Sadie."
Sadie stuck out her tongue at Josh and ran to her room.
Safe inside, she opened her newest library treasure: Be a Princess in Just Five Steps!
So you really, truly want to be an honest-to-goodness princess? You've got the right book! Just follow these five steps.Intriguing. Maybe cute.
WARNING: Don't peek ahead! You must follow all five steps in order if you really, truly want to be an honest-to-goodness princess.Sadie's speech feels like a throw-away line. Seems like you could have something here instead that will tell us more about the character or further the plot in some way.
"I'm really, truly ready," Sadie said, carefully turning the page.
Step #1: Every princess must live in a castle so she can always find her way home.Cute idea, and very true to children. But I'm not getting how this scene/step builds on the emotional core of the story, and I'm starting to worry that there isn't really going to be an emotional core. I'd read on, but simply being about princesses is not enough. What will make this princess story stand out from the many others already published or in the pipeline?
Sadie imagined digging a moat around her room. Then she pictured her parents getting mad. So she borrowed a few couch cushions to create her castle.
She pushed and squished and tied them together. On the tippy top of the tower, she taped a paper flag that read "Sadie's Castle."